Wednesday, 11 June 2014

WHO IS THE KINDLE NINJA? (part 2) - The EXPOSÉ

So, if you haven't read the precursor of this blog post you can catch up here.       

Who is he/she?
If you have, you will know that I have become obsessed with the true identity of the KINDLE NINJA.

And so, posing as a brilliant author of YA contemporary fiction, I approached him/her with a FAKE Reviewers Questionnaire, brimming with in-depth questions designed to expose the TRUTH at last. 

The unsuspecting Ninja has today returned the FAKE questionnaire, fully completed, and readers - I now present this to YOU! MWAH HA HA HA HA...

The Q&As…

Me: You obviously read lots of books, but do you have a favourite genre? 
KN: Crime / Mystery, and recently *clears throat* YA.
(Likes a 'Mystery' eh? Very interesting...)

Me: What makes a book a good read?  
KN: Complex characters, engaging  story, unpredictable outcomes.  If it stirs up all sorts of emotions. (If you can make me cry, you’re brilliant).  

Me: Have you ever rated anything 1*? 
KN: No. But there are books I couldn’t finish (although I plan on finishing when I’m back in that ‘reading zone.’)
Family Life
 
Me: When did you become a NINJA?  
KN: I was born a ninja in the late ‘70s  ;)
(Ahh, now we're gettting somewhere...that makes the KN thirty something...)

Me: Why? 
KN: Parents were ninjas. 

Me: Is it in fact true that you are a famous A-lister, trying to hide your identity by masquerading as a book reading Ninja?  
KN: That’s just a rumour ;) (It’s also a rumour that I’m a covert book agent hah!)
(The classic double bluff, methinks...)

Me: Can you tell us how you spend your day?  
KN: I do Ninja stuff in the morning.  Then work with creative types the rest of the day…and Tweeting when no one’s looking.
(A secret tweeter? So, an expert in the art of deception...) 

Me: What is your favourite food?  
KN: Pizza.  (Italian food)

Me: Are you a wanted criminal? 
KN: My parole officer said not to answer questions like this.

Me: What is your favourite colour? 
KN: Blue.
(I see what you did there.)

Ninja Puppy
Me: Do you have any NINJA pets? 
KN: Yes. I rescued a puppy from a vicious dog that punctured the puppy’s stomach. Puppy survived like a true ninja. She’s now 3 years old.
(Awww...this melts my heart.)

Me: Are you on a witness protection scheme so that no one knows who or where you are?
KN: Hey, not so loud.
(Oops! Sorry...)
                                          
Me: What can you see if you look out of your window? 
KN: What window?

Me: Do you even have a window?  
KN: Exactly.

Me: Do you have a middle name? Kindle ___ Ninja? 
KN: J.
(Jack? Jill? Jinja?)  

Me: How do you kill a Ninja? 
KJN: You can’t.  

Me: Do you write stories as well as read them? 
KJN: No. I tried, but failed miserably, lol. So I leave the writing to people like you.

Me: If so, what’s your genre? 
KJN: If I were to write a novel or a short story, it would be a crime / psychological thriller.

Me: What do you see when you take off your NINJA MASK?
KJN: If I take off my ninja mask, be very afraid. Face is covered for a reason. LOL
(What hideousness can it be?)

Me: Are you an alien?  
KJN: No. That would be the inmate two cells down  my neighbour.

Me: Should I be scared of you? 
KJN: No. I’m one of the nicest ninjas around.
(I'm begining to think you're right.)

Me: Is there anything else we should know about you? (Star sign, telephone number, credit card details etc…)
KJN: I like cookies.

Thank you for taking part in this interview. J

Thank you, Wendy. It was fun. J (So this is how it feels to be interviewed  by a brilliant author).

*****

I think we've learned a lot today. I am now 100% certain that the KINDLE NINJA is a thrill-seeking, thirty something masquerading as a NINJA to hide his/her true identity as a BOOK AGENT, practised in the art of deception, and currently practising from inside the walls of a top security prison. But it's not all bad; he/she is kind to animals and loves cookies.

Or have I been out-ninja-ed by the Ninja???

If you would like to find out more about the KINDLE NINJA >>>


6 comments:

  1. Clearly the Cookie Monster Ninja!!!

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    1. Doh - now why didn't I think of that!

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  2. Outninja'd!
    I really enjoyed this Q&A. You ask the funniest questions. I dub thee Honorary Ninja!

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    Replies
    1. The questions were specifically designed to lull you into a false sense of security...ha ha ha.
      I am delighted to be an Honorary Ninja. :)

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  3. That was funny. Thank you for a great start to my day, Wendy and KN. I think your spot on with your clever surmise, Wendy. :D

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Dale. Ahhh happy times. Made me smile all over again too. x

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Thanks for commenting.